Traàn Bình Nam

    Lôùi noùi ñaàu:  Veà thaêm queâ höông laàn naøy (thaùng 3 vaø thaùng 4 naêm 2001) toâi ít xuùc ñoäng hôn chuyeán ñi caùch ñaây 2 naêm. Laàn aáy toâi ñöôïc nhìn laïi ñaát nöôùc Vieät Nam sau 22 naêm xa caùch, vaø toâi baøng hoaøng laâng laâng khi ngöôøi só quan coâng an haûi quan ôû Taân Sôn Nhaát ñoùng daáu vaøo chieáu khaùn cho pheùp toâi nhaäp caûnh.  Laàn naøy thuû tuïc nhaäp caûnh ñôn giaûn hôn. Ngöôøi coâng an haûi quan treû tuoåi chæ hoûi toâi: “Boá veà bao laâu?” Toâi traû lôøi 5 tuaàn. Anh coâng an lieác nhanh vaøo ngaøy thaùng toâi ghi treân phieáu nhaäp caûnh, ñoùng daáu roài cho toâi ra coång.  Sau 2 ngaøy ôû laïi Saøi goøn vôùi gia ñình  moät ngöôøi chaùu toâi ra Nha Trang thaêm oâng anh ruoät vaø baïn beø, sau ñoù ra Haø Noäi vieáng vònh Haï Long vaø ñaûo Caùt Baø, leân Laïng Sôn thaêm Chi Laêng vaø aûi Nam Quan. Toâi ñònh ñi vieáng Ñieän Bieân Phuû nhöng thôøi gian khoâng cho pheùp. Töø Haø noäi muoán ñi Ñieän Bieân Phuû coù theå duøng ñöôøng boä qua dòch vuï du lòch,  ñi veà hai ngaøy ñöôøng , ôû laïi hai ngaøy, hoaëc duøng Air Vieät Nam moãi tuaàn coù hai chuyeán bay. Bay leân ôû laïi chôø veà chuyeán sau. Caùch naøo cuõng maát  ít nhaát 4 ngaøy. Töø Haø noäi toâi veà Hueá thaêm baø  chò ruoät, vaø moä ba meï. Trôû laïi Nha Trang maáy tuaàn, coù vôï choàng baïn Hoàng Giuõ Löu vaø Dieäu Trang töø Saøi goøn bay ra chôi vaø taém bieån 5 ngaøy. Dieäu Trang nguyeân Hieäu Tröôûng tröôøng Nöõ Trung Hoïc Nha Trang töø 1973 ñeán 1975 neân thaày coâ cuõ vaø baïn beø cuûa baø laøm Löu vaø toâi cuõng baän bòu laây. Nhöõng ngaøy muøa Xuaân noùng ôû Nha Trang choùng qua toâi vaøo Saøi Goøn ñeå chuaån bò trôû veà Hoa Kyø. Cuøng ñi veà Vieät Nam laàn naøy vôùi toâi coù Cöông, con trai, vôï choàng Phöông Taâm vaø Paul, con gaùi ñaàu. Caû ba ñeàu trôû veà Hoa kyø tröôùc toâi maáy ngaøy.
Chuyeán ñi cuûa toâi ñöôïc ghi laïi sau ñaây.

BAÏN CUÕ NGUYEÃN XUAÂN THAÂM

    Tröôùc khi leân ñöôøng baïn Quyønh Tieâu ôû Dallas cho toâi ñòa chæ cuûa Nguyeãn Xuaân Thaâm ôû Haø Noäi vaø daën: “Ra Haø Noäi xem coù kieám thaêm haén ñöôïc khoâng?” Nguyeãn Xuaân Thaâm hoïc trung hoïc vôùi chuùng toâi ôû Quoác hoïc Hueá. Naêm 1954 chöa xong lôùp ñeä nhò Thaâm boû nhaø leân chieán khu, sau ñoù theo ñoaøn ngöôøi taäp keát ra Baéc. Ñeán Saøi Goøn toâi vieát moät thö ngaén gôûi Thaâm yeâu caàu neáu nhaän ñöôïc thì vieát thö cho toâi veà Nha Trang. Toâi ghi ñieän thoaïi cuûa anh toâi ñeå Nguyeãn Xuaân Thaâm goïi neáu caàn.
    Ra Haø Noäi, vöøa tôùi khaùch saïn toâi nhaän ñöôïc ñieän thoaïi cuûa Thaâm. Nhaø Thaâm ôû ñöôøng Baø Trieäu khoâng xa khaùch saïn Phuù Gia nôi toâi ñang ôû,  neân 10 phuùt sau chuùng toâi gaëp nhau. Boán möôi baûy naêm! Xa nhau töø luùc treân döôùi 20 tuoåi baây giôø ñaõ thaønh  hai oâng giaø. Nguyeãn Xuaân Thaâm ñen vaø giaø khoïm ñi. Thaâm keå cho toâi nghe quaûng ñôøi töø luùc ra Baéc vöøa hoïc vöøa laøm ñeå kieám soáng. Thôøi gian môùi ra ôû Thanh Hoaù haèng ngaøy vaøo röøng laáy cuûi baùn cho daân. Heát caáp trung hoïc ñöôïc ñaûng cho ñi du hoïc ôû Lieân bang Xoâ vieát (baây giôø laø Lieân bang Nga) laáy baèng Phoù Tieán Só. Veà  nöôùc  daïy hoïc vaø vieát vaên. Sau naêm 1975 ñöôïc ñaëc phaùi ñi laøm nhieäm vuï quoác teá taïi Angola. Trôû veà Vieät Nam daïy Ñaïi Hoïc Baùch Khoa Haø noäi vôùi haøm Phoù Giaùo sö. Anh vöøa nghæ höu ñöôïc moät thaùng vaø giaùm ñònh y khoa cho bieát anh bò ung thö haøm treân. Caùc baùc só ñaõ chuaån bò moå vaøo cuoái thaùng 3. Anh traàm traàm keå laïi quaù khöù phaán ñaáu vaø söï ñoái ñaàu vôùi töû thaàn trong hieän taïi nhö trong cuoäc ñôøi khoâng coù chi laø quan troïng. Thænh thoaûng anh cao gioïng ñeå baøy toû söï phaán khôûi caàn thieát nhö thoùi quen cuûa nhöõng ngöôøi ôû laâu naêm döôùi cheá ñoä xaõ hoäi laâu ngaøy gaëp laïi baïn cuõ. Toâi hoûi Thaâm vieäc moå ung thö, saên soùc vaø thuoác men ñöôïc  chuaån bò theá naøo. Thaâm noùi: “Qui cheá giaùo sö ñaïi hoïc cho mình naèm beänh vieän haïng trung caáp, moå vaø thuoác mieãn phí. Nhöng caùc baùc só cho bieát thuoác theo qui cheá khoâng ñöôïc toát laém. Chöùng ung thö cuûa mình neáu moå thaønh coâng cuõng caàn thuoác toát môùi hy voïng döùt.” Toâi hoûi thuoác toát mua ôû ñaâu vaø chöøng bao nhieâu môùi ñuû. Thaâm ñaùp: “Mua ôû Haø noäi vaø chöøng möôøi trieäu”. Toâi tính nhaãm: 700 myõ kim. Thaâm ñöa cho toâi xem moät taäp thô ñaõ ñöôïc kieåm duyeät chôø in vaø noùi: “Mình ñaõ ñeå daønh ñöôïc maáy trieäu ñeå in taäp thô, nhöng thoâi cöùu mình tröôùc ñaõ, tieàn in taïm duøng mua thuoác sau seõ tính.” Nguyeãn Xuaân Thaâm noùi tieáp: “Mình noùi nhö laïy oâng baùc só seõ moå mình, xin thi aân cöùu maïng. Toâi khoâng ham soáng, chæ muoán keùo daøi ngaøy soáng ñeå vieát thoâi. Toâi ham vieát vaø coù nhieàu chuyeän ñeå vieát.” Ngaïc nhieân toâi hoûi Nguyeãn Xuaân Thaâm sao beänh nhaân phaûi van xin? Baùc só naøo chaúng muoán cöùu maïng beänh nhaân. Thaâm noùi: “Tröø caùc oâng trong Boä chính trò vaø caùc UÛy vieân trung öông ñaûng sao mình khoâng bieát, coøn ai vaøo beänh vieän muoán ñöôïc chöõa trò töû teá ñeàu phaûi chi tieàn. Khoâng coù tieàn thì naên næ. May mình coøn moät chuùt theá giaù trong xaõ hoäi.”
    Hai ngaøy tröôùc khi Thaâm vaøo beänh vieän,  toâi môøi Thaâm duøng côm tröa. Thaâm choïn moät tieäm baùn thöùc aên bieån beân bôø Hoà Taây. Töø ñöôøng Baø Trieäu xe taxi ñöa chuùng toâi chaïy doïc ñeâ soâng Hoàng. Ñeâ laø moät xa loä kieân coá,  xe coä ñoâng ñuùc. Neáu thænh thoaûng khoâng coù nhöõng loái nhoû chaïy xuoáng bôø soâng thì khoù bieát ñaây laø moät con ñeâ. Möôøi naêm tröôùc ñeâ coøn baèng ñaát vaø nhöõng ngöôøi coù theá löïc ôû Haø noäi ñaõ chieám ñaát xaây nhaø beân bôø ñeâ. Tröôùc söï than vaõn cuûa daân Haø Noäi vì nguy cô vôõ ñeâ chính quyeàn Haø noäi ñaõ trieät haï moät vaøi khu nhaø cuûa nhöõng ngöôøi keùm theá nhaát. Vaø roài con ñeâ ñöôïc bieán thaønh xa loä kieân coá ñeå yeân loøng daân vaø - nhaát cöû löôõng tieän - ñeå yeân loøng caùc chuû nhaân nhöõng ngoâi nhaø ñoà soä ôû meù ñeâ..
Xe taxi chaïy qua ñöôøng Thanh Nieân, moät con ñöôøng ñaù traùng nhöïa khaù roäng naèm giöõa Hoà Taây vaø hoà Truùc Baïch. Thaâm noùi vaøo tai toâi: “Mình töøng ñoå moà hoâi ôû ñaây. Ñöôøng naøy ngaøy tröôùc laø ñöôøng Coå Ngö  nhoû heïp laøm ñeà taøi cho nhieàu thi nhaân yeâu Haø Noäi. Noù bieán thaønh ñöôøng Thanh Nieân naêm 1955 do baøn tay lao ñoäng cuûa thanh thieáu nieân Haø Noäi vaø cuûa caùc tænh mieàn Baéc ñoå veà, cuøng vôùi ñoaøn ngöôøi treû töø mieàn Nam taäp keát ra.” Thaâm noùi tieáp: “Mình nhôù khi vaän chuyeån ñaù laáp con ñöôøng nhoû mình tieác nhaát nhöõng caây oåi hai beân ñöôøng vôùi nhöõng chuøm oåi nhoû chín moïng thôm phöùc. AÊn khoâng heát, böùc boû khoâng ñaønh.”
    Qua khoûi chuøa Traàn Quoác taxi ñöa chuùng toâi chaïy qua khaùch saïn Thaéng Lôïi voøng leân phía baéc Hoà Taây chaïy ra Phuû Taây Hoà. Phuû Taây Hoà laø moät ñieän thôø naèm cuoái moät doi ñaát nhoû choïc thaúng ra giöõa Hoà Taây. Moät con ñöôøng traùng nhöïa nhoû chaïy daøi giöõa doi ñaát . Hai beân nhìn ra Hoà Taây baùt ngaùt phaúng laëng laø caùc tieäm baùn ñaëc saûn ñoà bieån saùt caùnh nhau. Phía baéc Hoà Taây nhieàu bieät thöï xaây baèng gaïch ñoû choùi xuùm xít quanh bôø hoà. Nhôù moät thôøi coù tin ñoàn caùc UÛy vieân Trung öông ñaûng coù theá löïc chieám nhöõng vuøng ñeïp nhaát quanh bôø hoà xaây döïng nhaø rieâng toâi hoûi ngöôøi taøi xeá taxi moät caùch voâ thöôûng voâ phaït: “Bieät thöï cuûa nhöõng ai maø ñeïp theá?” Do döï moät chuùt anh taøi xeá deø daët traû lôøi: “Nhaø cuûa daân.” Nguyeãn Xuaân Thaâm tieáp “Nhaø cuûa daân, cuûa daân ‘gian’ aáy maø!”
Treân ñöôøng trôû veà Thaâm baûo xe taxi chaïy qua coâng vieân Lenin. Giöõa coâng vieân chieác töôïng Lenin baèng ñaù söøng söõng, coâ ñôn, löng töïa vaøo moät haøng caây xanh thaúng taép. Thaâm baûo toâi: “Baïn nhìn töôïng Lenin kìa. Ñoù laø böùc töôïng duy nhaát coøn laïi treân theá giôùi. Nöôùc ta caùi gì cuõng khaùc ngöôøi!” Toâi im laëng hieåu Thaâm muoán noùi gì. Ngöôøi taøi xeá taxi cuõng im laëng noát. Naêm 1991 sau cuoäc ñaûo chaùnh laät ñoå Gorbachev baát thaønh, Gorbachev ra leänh giaûi taùn ñaûng coäng saûn Lieân xoâ daân chuùng Maïc Tö Khoa xuoáng ñöoøng giaät saäp töôïng Lenin ôû trung taâm thaønh phoá. Daân caùc nöôùc Ñoâng AÂu nhanh choùng theo göông daân Maïc Tö Khoa. Theo yeâu caàu cuûa Thaâm taxi ñöa anh ñeán beänh vieän nôi anh seõ ñöôïc moå. Beänh vieän naèm ñoái dieän vôùi Haø Noäi Towers tröôùc kia laø nhaø lao Hoûa Loø nôi töøng giam giöõ caùc nhaø caùch maïng choáng Phaùp vaø gaàn ñaây nhaát giam phi coâng John McCain sau trôû thaønh Thöôïng nghò só Hoa Kyø. Nhaø thieát keá Haø Noäi Towers ñeå daønh moät daõy nhaø goàm maáy caên maùi ngoùi vaø moät thaùp canh ñeå - theo taøi lieäu - nhôù ñeán toäi aùc cuûa ñeá quoác. Toâi hoûi Thaâm xuoáng beänh vieän laøm gì. Thaâm noùi: “Mình vaøo thay aùo quaàn beänh nhaân naèm moät chuùt roài veà. Neáu khoâng giöõ choã moãi ngaøy ngöôøi khaùc seõ giaønh maát giöôøng khi moå khoâng coù choã naèm” Nghe Thaâm giaûi thích toâi vaãn khoâng hieåu noåi caùch quaûn trò cuûa caùc beänh vieän ôû Haø Noäi. Thaâm baét tay toâi vaø xuoáng xe. Toâi buøi nguøi nhìn theo Thaâm böôùc vaøo beänh vieän. Ngaøy mai toâi vaøo Hueá.

AÛI NAM QUAN

    Neáu khoâng coù vuï ghi veù maùy bay ñi Trung quoác cuûa Phöông Taâm vaø Paul truïc traëc toâi ñaõ khoâng coù dòp thaêm Aûi Nam Quan. Khoâng laáy ñöôïc veù chuyeán bay Haø Noäi - Coân Minh nhö  ñaõ ñònh, Phöông Taâm vaø Paul quyeát ñònh duøng ñöôøng boä ñi Trung quoác qua aûi Nam Quan. Toâi vaø Cöông thaùp tuøng vaø nhaân theå thaêm cöûa aûi lòch söû Vieät Trung. AÛi Nam Quan coøn ñöôïc goïi laø cöûa Höõu Nghò ñeå ghi tình baèng höõu giöõa Trung quoác vaø Vieät Nam. Höõu nghò nhöng vaãn ñaùnh nhau trong suoát chieàu daøi cuûa lòch söû . Traän ñaùnh gaàn nhaát caùch ñaây hôn 20 naêm. Haèng vaïn quaân Trung hoa traøn qua san baèng hai thaønh phoá Ñoàng Ñaêng vaø Laïng Sôn, tieán saùt Baéc Giang, uy hieáp thaønh phoá Haø Noäi. Neáu Trung quoác khoâng sôï Lieân bang Xoâ vieát ñaùnh uùp sau löng phaù huûy cô sôû nguyeân töû cuûa mình coù leõ Trung quoác ñaõ tieán xuoáng Haø Noäi.
    Quoác loä soá 1 noái lieàn Haø Noäi – Laïng Sôn daøi chöøng 150 caây soá ñaõ ñöôïc traûi nhöïa vaø nôùi roäng. Xe chaïy hai chieàu, hai beân coù loái daønh cho xe gaén maùy, xe ñaïp vaø ngöôøi ñi boä. Xe du lòch thueâ bao coù theå chaïy 80 caây soá giôø. Vaøo tænh Laïng sôn tuy ñöôøng nuùi quanh co hieåm trôû xe vaãn coøn chaïy ñöôïc 40 caây soá. Boû ñoàng baèng Baéc Giang vaøo tænh Laïng Sôn phong caûnh thaät laø huøng vó. Nhöõng ngoïn nuùi ñaù cao thaáp san saùt chen nhau ñieåm giöõa nhöõng caùnh röøng thöa töôûng nhö moät vònh Haï Long khaùc treân ñaát lieàn neáu röøng ngaäp nöôùc. Qua aûi Chi Laêng, nôi saùu theá kyû tröôùc vua Leâ Lôïi gieát Lieãu Thaêng treân vaùch nuùi coøn ghi trang söû cuõ. Nhìn ñoài ñaù cheo leo loái ñi hieåm trôû toâi thaàm phuïc ngöôøi xöa kheùo choïn choã phuïc kích gieát töôùng ñòch vaø töôûng töôïng tröôùc maét mình haøng ngaøn chieán só anh duõng ñang aøo aït laên xaû vaøo ñoaøn quaân Baéc xaâm laêng. Töôùng Lieãu Thaêng cheát, Vieät Nam thu hoài laïi neàn ñoäc laäp.
    Ñaây roài Laïng Sôn, thaønh phoá lôùn ñòa ñaàu! Naêm 1950 Laïng Sôn chöùng kieán cuoäc ruùt lui theâ thaûm cuûa quaân ñoäi vieãn chinh Phaùp. Naêm 1979 Laïng Sôn bò quaân Trung quoác san thaønh bình ñòa. Nhaø cöûa ñaõ ñöôïc taïm xaây caát laïi cuøng vôùi thò traán bieân giôùi Ñoàng Ñaêng. Laïng Sôn vaø Ñoàng Ñaêng phoá xaù luoäm thuoäm ñaây ñoù coøn daáu veát ñaù taûng, gaïch vuïn cuûa nhöõng vuï xaây caát  dôû dang. Ñöôøng phoá buïi môø noùng nhö löûa cuûa thaùng Tö vuøng nuùi. Ñoàng Ñaêng coù phoá Kyø Löøa, ca dao haùt vaäy nhöng chôï Kyø Löøa khoâng coøn ôû Ñoàng Ñaêng. Kyø Löøa naèm söøng söõng giöõa thaønh phoá Laïng Sôn. Hoûi taïi sao? Daân ñòa phöông khoâng ai giaûi thích. Sinh hoaït buoân baùn vuøng bieân giôùi quaù baän roän, vaø hoï coøn baän taâm xaây döïng nhaø cöûa. Rôøi Laïng Sôn tröïc chæ höôùng Baéc leân bieân giôùi, coät caây soá ñöôøng ghi: Höõu Nghò Quan 11 caây soá, Ñoàng Ñaêng 8 caây soá. Moät traïm haûi quan lôùn naèm giöõa Laïng Sôn vaø Ñoàng Ñaêng. Haøng traêm xe taõi töø Trung quoác chôû haøng vaøo naèm chôø khaùm bieán moät khoaûng ñöôøng quoác loä daøi gaàn moät caây soá thaønh moät chôï nhoû, ñöôøng saù buïi môø nhö moät ñoaøn quaân chôø ra maët traän. Moät maët traän kinh teá. Soá haøng chính thöùc qua bieân giôùi vaø haøng traêm taán haøng haèng ngaøy qua caùc loái khaùc giöõa bieân giôùi daøi giöõa hai nöôùc Vieät Trung laø moät maët traän kinh teá lôùn cuûa Vieät Nam.
    Qua khoûi Ñoàng Ñaêng toâi noùng loøng xem aûi Nam Quan. Saùch söû ñòa lôùp ba thôøi Phaùp thuoäc in hình aûi Nam Quan uy nghi nhö  cöûa Thöôïng Töù hay cöûa Ñoâng Ba cuûa kinh thaønh Hueá. Traïm haûi quan goàm moät ngoâi nhaø treät roäng theânh thang coù ñuû phoøng sôû quen thuoäc cuûa moät cô sôû haûi quan bieân giôùi naèm beân traùi quoác loä soá 1 caùch bieân giôùi chöøng traêm thöôùc. Taän cuøng cuûa quoác loä laø coång bieân giôùi.  Coång ñôn giaûn chæ laø moät thanh goã daøi vaét ngang qua quoác loä quay leân xuoáng ñöôïc vaø moät traïm gaùc nhoû do moät tieåu ñoäi coâng an canh giöõ. Phoùng maét nhìn phöông Baéc sau traïm gaùc nhoû toâi khoâng thaáy hình boùng gì cuûa aûi Nam Quan. Toâi hoûi moät só quan haûi quan trong khi Phöông Taâm vaø Paul laøm thuû tuïc nhaäp caûnh: “Toâi muoán xem Höõu Nghò Quan coù ñöôïc khoâng? Anh só quan treû tuoåi chæ chieác coång bieân giôùi traû lôøi: “Sau chieác coång kia 20 thöôùc laø heát bieân giôùi nöôùc ta. Höõu Nghò Quan naèm saâu trong ñaát Trung quoác ôû ñaây khoâng thaáy ñöôïc.” Coøn thaéc maéc nhöng toâi khoâng hoûi theâm. Tieãn vôï choàng Phöông Taâm tay xaùch löng mang haønh lyù böôùc qua bieân giôùi toâi thaáy caùch moät ñoä ñöôøng sau coång nhoû moät beä ñaù xi maêng beân veä ñöôøng ghi ngueäch ngoaïc: Cöûa Höõu Nghò. Hai naêm tröôùc Vieät Nam vaø Trung quoác kyù moät thoûa öôùc veà bieân giôùi treân ñaát lieàn. Baûn vaên cuûa thoûa öôùc khoâng ñöôïc phoå bieán, vaø coù tin ñoàn Vieät Nam ñaõ nhöôøng cho Trung quoác nhieàu cao ñieåm bieân giôùi. Môùi ñaây sau Ñaïi Hoäi 9 cuûa ñaûng Coäng saûn Vieät Nam, Leâ Khaû Phieâu maát chöùc Toång bí thö. Noäi boä ñaûng keát oâng Leâ Khaû Phieâu 4 toäi trong ñoù coù toäi ñaõ nhöôïng boä quaù nhieàu cho Trung quoác khi kyù thoûa öôùc bieân giôùi treân ñaát lieàn. Söï thaät coøn chôø ñaûng phoå bieán baûn thoûa öôùc bieân giôùi Vieät-Trung. Nhö nhaän xeùt cuûa giaùo sö  Nguyeãn Xuaân Thaâm, nöôùc ta caùi gì cuõng khaùc ngöôøi. Moät thoûa öôùc bieân giôùi lieân quan ñeán vaän meänh vaø an nguy cuûa ñaát nöôùc daân cuõng khoâng coù quyeàn bieát!

CHUYEÁN TAØU THOÁNG NHAÁT S7:

    Hoâm 27/3  Cöông vaø toâi ñaùp chuyeán taøu Thoáng Nhaát  S7 töø Hueá ñi Nha Trang. Coù hai loaïi taøu Thoáng Nhaát xuyeân Vieät. Loaïi môùi nhaát chaïy nhanh, chæ ngöøng ôû moät soá ga chính nhö Vinh, Hueá, Ñaø Naüng, Nha Trang. Loaïi thöôøng chaïy chaäm hôn vaø ngöøng ôû  nhieàu ga. S7 laø taøu Thoáng Nhaát loaïi thöôøng töø  Hueá vaøo Nha Trang ngöøng ôû Laêng Coâ,  Ñaø Naüng, Tam Quan, Dieâu Trì, Qui Nhôn, Tuy Hoøa. Toâi ñònh laáy chuyeán taøu Thoáng Nhaát chaïy nhanh nhöng vì moät lyù do chôï ñen chôï ñoû, coâ baùn veù ôû ga Hueá khoâng muoán baùn cho chuùng toâi baûo raèng chuyeán taøu toâi muoán ñi khoâng ñaùp taïi Nha Trang. Sau naøy hoûi nhaân vieân hoûa xa treân taøu toâi bieát chuyeán taøu Thoáng Nhaát naøo cuõng ñeàu gheù Nha Trang. Nhöng chuyeän ñaõ roài.
Ngaên phoøng nguû cuûa chuùng toâi coù 2 daøn, moãi daøn coù ñeán 3 giöôøng choàng leân nhau khaù chaät. Cöông vaø toâi moãi ngöôøi moät giöôøng döôùi cuøng. Ngaên phoøng ñaõ coù 3 ngöôøi khaùch. Beân traùi, chò Lan 45 tuoåi giaùo sö tröôøng ñaïi hoïc sö phaïm Kontum naèm giöôøng treân, chò Vaân 37 tuoåi nhaø baùo quaân ñoäi naèm giöôøng giöõa. Beân phaûi, cuõng giöôøng giöõa, anh Vinh, 35 tuoåi Trung uùy coâng an; giöôøng treân cuøng coøn  troáng daønh cho baø Hoàng moät phuï nöõ  ngöôøi Hueá khoaûng 55 tuoåi troâng coøn xuaân saéc môùi leân taøu cuøng vôùi Cöông vaø toâi ôû ga Hueá. Leân taøu baø Hoàng leo leân giöôøng nguû, caèn nhaèn: “Caùi nöôùc gì maø mua veù taøu cuõng phaûi ñuùt loùt. Caàn ñi gaáp chaïy vaïy maõi maát theâm 50 ngaøn ñoàng môùi ñöôïc caùi choã quí baùu naøy ñaây” Taøu vöøa chaïy ñaõ nghe tieáng baø ngaùy ñeàu. Tröôùc khi taøu ñeán Hueá hai giöôøng döôùi coøn troáng neân chò Lan vaø Chò Vaân duøng giöôøng beân traùi – giöôøng cuûa Cöông - laøm choã ngoài noùi chuyeän vôùi nhau. Anh só quan coâng an naèm nghieâng nôi giöôøng mình goùp chuyeän vôùi hai ngöôøi. Cöông ra cöûa soå haønh lang nhìn phong caûnh.
Qua khoûi Phuù Baøi ñöôøng xe löûa xuoâi nam thaúng taép. Chuyeán taøu S7 phom phom phoùng mình döôùi baàu trôøi saùng ñieåm maây thaáp, beân phaûi laø ñoài nuùi, beân traùi laø ñoàng luùa xanh rì. Xem phong caûnh chaùn, Cöông ngoài gheù ôû giöôøng mình khoâng toû  yù muoán naèm. Ñöôïc theå, chò Lan vaø chò Vaân tieáp tuïc ngoài noùi chuyeän vôùi anh Vinh. Caâu chuyeän cuûa 3 ngöôøi khaù töông ñaéc. Hoï keå cho nhau nghe coâng taùc hieän taïi. Chò Lan vöøa xong khoùa tu nghieäp giaùo sö  ôû Haø Noäi trôû veà nhieäm sôû. Chò seõ xuoáng ga Dieâu Trì ñaùp xe ñoø ñi Kontum. Chò laø con moät huyeän uûy vieân ôû  Phuù Yeân thôøi choáng Phaùp. Chò theo cha meï taäp keát ra Baéc naêm 1 tuoåi. Chò noùi gioïng Haø Noäi pha Bình Ñònh, aâm ñieäu vaø noäi dung coøn tha thieát vôùi queâ höông cuûa boá meï. Chò Lan ñeïp moät caùch goïn gaøng. Chò Vaân töø Haø Noäi ñöôïc phaùi vaøo Nha Trang tham döï thaønh phaàn giaûng huaán cho moät khoùa huaán luyeän phoùng vieân quaân ñoäi ngaén ngaøy. Gioïng Haø Noäi, treû, khuoân maët xinh xaén, nöôùc da traéng ngaø, hôi ñaãy ngöôøi, tính tình côûi môû. Chò noùi bieán coá giaûi phoùng mieàn Nam naêm 1975 khoâng ñeå laïi moät aán töôïng gì saâu ñaäm nôi chò. Naêm aáy chò môùi 10 tuoåi. Chò haøi loøng vôùi coâng vieäc hieän taïi. Anh Vinh ít noùi chæ tieáp chuyeän vôùi hai chò Lan vaø Vaân vaø ñaëc bieät lòch söï vôùi chò Vaân. Hai ngöôøi traïc cuøng tuoåi. Anh uoáng bia vaø môøi chò Vaân. Chò Vaân töø choái vieän côù hôi meät.
Taøu chaïy nhanh ñong ñöa ñieåm nhòp khi baùnh xe chaïm choã noái cuûa ñöôøng saét. Toâi naèm yeân khoâng nguû ñöôïc theo doõi caâu chuyeän cuûa 3 ngöôøi. Caâu chuyeän côûi môû nhöng deø daët vaø toâi nghó neáu hoï coù gì khoâng baèng loøng vôùi hieän taïi hoï cuõng khoâng thoå loä vôùi nhau. Taøu ngöøng ôû Laêng Coâ ñeå theâm moät ñaàu maùy tröôùc khi leân ñeøo Haûi Vaân. Trôøi möa laát phaát. Nhieàu coâ beù co ro trong chieác aùo möa khoâng che kín thaân chaïy tôùi chaïy lui rao môøi khaùch mua cuõ lang, cuõ khoai mì luoäc, baùnh traùng, mía tieän thaønh thoûi nhoû boïc trong tuùi ni loâng. Coù caû möïc khoâ vaø bia lon. Moät soá ngöôøi taøn taät leâ mình khoù nhoïc treân chieác naïng goã ñeán xin tieàn boá thí cuûa khaùch. Tieáng ñoäng khaùc laï beân ngoaøi laøm baø Hoàng thöùc giaác. Baø nhanh nheïn leo xuoáng giöôøng, mua moät tuùi mía, moät chai nöôùc ngoït, cho tieàn nhöõng ngöôøi taøn taät roài im laëng ngoài keù beân giöôøng toâi uoáng nöôùc.
    Moät ngöôøi ñaøn oâng trung nieân ñi qua ngoaøi haønh lang. Chò Lan chaøo thaày Maãn. Nhaän ra coâ hoïc troø cuõ xinh ñeïp töøng hoïc vôùi thaày taïi tröôøng ñaïi hoïc sö phaïm Hueá thaày cöôøi thaät töôi. Chò Lan keå: “Thaày Maãn ñoã tieán só vaên chöông taïi Trung quoác, daïy moân vaên. Thaày hieàn laém. Luùc daïy lôùp cao hoïc, ai cuõng ñöôïc thaày cho ñieåm cao. Coù ngöôøi chaát vaán thaày sao gioûi doát gì thaày cuõng cho ñieåm cao, thaày cöôøi traû lôøi raát teáu: Ñaõ hoïc cao hoïc roài thì ai cuõng ñaùng ñöôïc ñieåm cao.” Ñang traàm ngaâm baø Hoàng chen vaøo caâu chuyeän: “ Chuyeän thaày baø cuûa chò laøm toâi giaät mình. Giaùo duïc laø ñieàu quan troïng nhaát cuûa moät quoác gia. Ngöôøi thaày khoâng laøm troøn chöùc naêng ñeå di hoïa cho muoân ngöôøi. Thaày Maãn cuûa coâ toát thaät nhöng loái giaùo duïc cuûa thaày coù haïi cho theá heä töông lai. Nöôùc mình laøm sao khaù leân ñöôïc!” Cöông im laëng ngoài nghe. Toâi chôø ñôïi phaûn öùng cuûa chò Lan, hay neáu khoâng chò Lan seõ laø chò Vaân hay anh Vinh. Nhöng chò Lan chæ hôi xoay ngöôøi laïi toû yù khoâng muoán lyù söï  vôùi baø Hoàng. Vaân vaø Vinh im laëng. Vinh tieáp tuïc nhaép bia, môøi chò Vaân moät laàn nöõa maét ñaêm chieâu nhìn beân ngoaøi.
    Cöông gôïi chuyeän vôùi baø Hoàng. Baø taâm söï: “Chò ñi buoân. Khi tan haøng chò ñaõ coù 6 con, con naêm moät, choàng chò ñi hoïc taäp, tröôùc khi ñi aûnh coøn ñeå cho chò moät caùi baàu. Naêm 1976 chò sinh chaùu uùt baø con ai cuõng lo cho töông lai cuûa chò. Nhöng chò quyeát phaán ñaáu nuoâi con chôø choàng. Caùc tuyeán ñöôøng xe löûa laø nôi soáng cuûa chò, chò mua haøng töø thaønh phoá naøy sang baùn thaønh phoá kia. Ñaøn con chò gôûi cho moät ngöôøi chò coi soùc. Noùi laø gôûi nhöng thaät ra ñöùa con lôùn 10 tuoåi coi ñaøn em nhoû döôùi maùi nhaø cuûa ngöôøi chò.” Baø thuû thæ vôùi Cöông: “Em ôi, khoå laém, ñang hoïc ñaïi hoïc chò laáy choàng coù bieát buoân baùn laø gì. Theá roài vaät loän vôùi ñôøi soáng, vaät loän vôùi nhöõng cuoäc ñuoåi baét cuûa coâng an trong thôøi kyø xaây döïng kinh teá xaõ hoäi chuû nghóa caám buoân baùn roài cuõng quen daàn. Moät thaèng con trai cuûa chò cöïc quaù chòu khoâng noåi boû nhaø theo baïn beø vöôït bieân nay ôû Seattle beân Hoa Kyø. Coøn baày con ôû laïi baây giôø ñöùa naøo cuõng ñaõ laäp gia ñình vaø taïm oån ñònh. Chæ toäi khoâng coù ñöùa naøo ñöôïc aên hoïc, thieáu thoán tieàn baïc moät phaàn, nhöng chính yeáu vì lyù lòch.” Baø Hoàng noùi luùc naøy baø vaãn coøn ñi buoân nhöng chæ giao haøng sæ. Haøng ñöôïc ñoùng thuøng coù ngöôøi ñöa leân taøu, ñeán nôi coù ngöôøi nhaän laõnh, baø chæ theo haøng ñeå thanh toaùn tieàn nong. Choàng chò tuø caûi taïo 12 naêm, ñang chôø phoûng vaán dieän HO thì maéc beänh qua ñôøi. Theá laø caû gia ñình chò keït laïi.”
    Toû yù khoâng quan taâm caâu chuyeän giöõa baø Hoàng vaø Cöông, chò Lan, chò Vaân vaø ngöôøi só quan coâng an noái laïi caâu chuyeän vôùi nhau. Chò Vaân keå chuyeän moät laàn ñi coâng taùc xuoáng ga Ñaø Naüng ban ñeâm chò thaáy nhöõng ngöôøi phu khuaân vaùc khoâng nhaø nguû la lieät treân saân ga. Theo chò laøm vieäc ñaâu nguû ñoù thaät laø giaûn tieän. Khoâng boû lôõ cô hoäi baø Hoàng khieâu khích: “Giaûn tieän nhöng ñau loøng. Moät nöôùc cuõng nhö moät nhaø. Neáu boá meï khoâng laøm troøn boån phaän con caùi phaûi khoå. Daân coøn khoâng nhaø khoâng cöûa cuø bô cuø baát sau bao nhieâu naêm hoøa bình thì ai coù traùch nhieäm?” Chò Vaân ñôõ lôøi: “Thì cuõng phaûi coù thì giôø cho caùc cuï” (ngöôøi trong nöôùc coù thoùi quen goïi moät caùch voâ thöôûng voâ phaït maáy oâng giaø trong Boä chính trò baèng cuï.)  Baø Hoàng tieáp: “Hoïc cuõng phaûi coù caên baûn. Moät oâng baùc só hoïc 6 thaùng coù theå laøm ruoäng gioûi nhö moät noâng daân, nhöng ngöôøi noâng daân hoïc maõi cuõng chaúng trôû thaønh baùc só”. Toa giöôøng nguû trôû neân im phaêng phaéc chæ coøn nghe tieáng gioù xaøo xaït ngoaøi thaân taøu hoøa vôùi tieáng baùnh xe ñaäp laïch caïch treân ñöôøng saét. Chò Lan xoay ngöôøi quay löng laïi baø Hoàng giaû vôø nguû. Anh só quan coâng an mang moät cuoán saùch nhoû ra ñoïc trong khi chò Vaân im laëng traàm ngaâm. Ñeå ñaùnh tan khoâng khí caêng thaúng, Cöông gôïi chuyeän vôùi chò Vaân. Cöông traïc tuoåi chò Vaân. Chò hoûi veà nöôùc Myõ, caùch soáng vaø khoâng daáu dieám öôùc voïng phaûi chi coù dòp ñi Myõ moät chuyeán cho bieát. Toâi thaáy chò vaø Cöông trao ñoåi ñòa chæ e-mail vôùi nhau.
Taøu ñeán ga Tam Kyø anh só quan coâng an xuoáng xe. Chò Lan saép xuoáng ga Dieâu Trì. Chò nhôø Cöông: “Ñeán ga chò nhôø em mang giuùp chò hai va-li ra cöûa ga, chò coøn hai xaùch tay nöõa. Luùc naõy thaày Maãn höùa ñeán ga thaày giuùp nhöng chò ngaïi laøm phieàn thaày.” Baø Hoàng can thieäp: “Thoâi chò ôi, taøu chæ ngöøng ôû ga Dieâu Trì maáy phuùt, lôõ treã xe con ngöôøi ta thì sao. Cho phu vaøi ngaøn ñoàng hoï mang ra cho, laøm gì maø haø tieän quaù vaäy.” Thaáy baø Hoàng coù lyù toâi qua ngaên taøu beân caïnh nhaéc thaày Maãn. Taøu ngöøng, thaày Maãn sang leã meã xaùch hai chieác va-li naëng tróu cuûa chò Lan xuoáng taøu. Toâi chuùc chò Lan trôû veà bình an vaø noùi nhoû vôùi thaày Maãn: “Daïy nöõ sinh vieân treû ñeïp cuõng phieàn nhó?” ÔÛ ga Dieâu Trì hai coâ sinh vieân khaùc leân taøu traùm choã. Taøu chaïy baø Hoàng leo leân giöôøng vaø chæ moät choác ñaõ nghe tieáng baø ngaùy ngon laønh. Toâi chôïp maét ñöôïc moät laùt thì  taøu tôùi Nha Trang. Ñuùng nöûa ñeâm ngaøy 27 thaùng 3. Taøu treã moät giôø.

TRÒNH COÂNG SÔN VÓNH BIEÄT CUOÄC ÑÔØI

Toâi ôû Nha Trang. Hoâm nay laø ngaøy 1 thaùng 4. Ngöôøi Phaùp goïi laø “Poisson d’Avril”, ngöôøi Myõ goïi laø “April Fool”, ngöôøi Vieät noùi theo ngöôøi Phaùp goïi laø “Caù thaùng Tö”. Loan tin vòt gì cuõng ñöôïc, ai tin raùng chòu. Hoâm aáy maáy chuyeän nho nhoû ñoái vôùi toâi raát thaät, khoâng “fool” chuùt naøo caû. Baùc Chuaån, ngöôøi baïn giaø cuûa toâi 78 tuoåi ñaïp xe ñaïp 10 caây soá 6 giôø saùng ñaõ coù maët ôû baõi bieån Nha Trang ñeå cuøng taém vôùi toâi. Chuùng toâi thaân nhau, hieåu nhau vaø coi nhau nhö anh em. Phöông Taâm töø Haø Noäi bay vaøo, vôï choàng Löu vaø Dieäu Trang töø  Saøigoøn bay ra. Saùu giôø chieàu aên côm ôû Bieån Tieân naèm treân moät con ñöôøng lôùn môùi môû chaïy thaúng töø ñöôøng Duy Taân – nay ñoåi laø Traàn Phuù – doïc bôø bieån Nha Trang qua cöûa soâng Nha Trang baêng qua Baõi Döông, Ñoàng Ñeá vôùi vôï choàng Löu Dieäu – Trang, vôï choàng Lyù, vôï choàng Duy, vôï choàng Chaâu vaø Nhöï ñoäc thaân taïi choã.
Maët quoác noäi vaø quoác teá hoâm aáy coù nhieàu tin giaät gaân. Quoác noäi, taïi Haø Noäi caùc UÛy vieân Boä chính trò ñaám ñaù nhau aùc lieät giaønh chöùc toång bí thö. Taïi Saøi Goøn nhaïc só Trònh Coâng Sôn cheát vì beänh tieåu ñöôøng. Tin quoác teá, maùy bay khu truïc Trung quoác eùp vaø ñuïng maùy bay trinh thaùm Myõ ngoaøi khôi bôø bieån Trung quoác. Phi coâng Taøu nhaûy duø xuoáng bieån maát tích, maùy bay Myõ beå moät ñaàu caùnh ñaùp an toaøn ñaùp xuoáng Haûi Nam vôùi phi haønh ñoaøn 24 ngöôøi. Taát caû ñeàu laø tin thaät. Nhöng ôû Vieät Nam khoâng ai quan taâm ñeán noäi boä ñaûng coäng saûn duø nhöõng ngaøy ñaàu thaùng Tö cuoäc tranh chaáp gay caán ñeán ñoä nôi laøm vieäc cuûa moät vaøi UÛy vieân quan troïng Boä Chính Trò ñaõ ñöôïc boá trí suùng phoøng khoâng. Tin ñoàn Leâ Khaû Phieâu nhaát ñònh baùm chöùc Toång bí thö moãi ñeâm phaûi ñoåi choã nguû sôï phe choáng ñoái aùp löïc baèng vuõ löïc. Daân cuõng khoâng chuù yù ñeán caêng thaúng ngoaïi giao giöõa Hoa Kyø vaø Trung quoác.
Hình nhö ñoái vôùi daân trong nöôùc tin gì cuõng laø tin doõm ñaùng lieät vaøo loaïi “caù thaùng tö,”  chæ coù tin Trònh Coâng Sôn qua ñôøi laø tin thaät. Caû nöôùc xoân xao, nhaát laø giôùi treû. Trong quaùn aên, raïp haùt, quaùn coùc beân heø phoá, nôi baïn beø gaëp gôõ nhau, trong coâng sôû nôi naøo cuõng noùi ñeán Trònh Coâng Sôn. Tin chung quanh caùi cheát cuûa Trònh Coâng Sôn laø tin haøng ñaàu cuûa baùo chí. Ñöôøng Phaïm Ngoïc Thaïch, quaän 3 nôi quaøn linh cöûu cuûa Trònh Coâng Sôn xe coä khoâng theå löu thoâng, chaät cöùng bôûi haøng ngaøn xe hai baùnh cuûa giôùi treû. Giôùi treû ngöôõng moä Trònh Coâng Sôn moät caùch töï nhieân. Hoï yeâu nhaïc cuûa anh, yeâu lôøi cuûa nhöõng baøi haùt thaùch thöùc moïi nguyeân taéc vaên phaïm nhö xuaát ra töø nhöõng giaác mô mieân vieãn cuûa ngöôøi nhaïc só ña taøi löøng löõng thaám vaøo taâm thöùc ngöôøi nghe. Nguyeãn Minh Trieát, thaønh uûy Saøi goøn, ngöôøi ñaûng vieân lôùn nhaát ôû mieàn Nam, nhaïy caûm vôùi phaûn öùng cuûa giôùi treû ñaõ traân troïng ñeán chia buoàn vôùi thaân nhaân vaø phuùng ñieáu tröôùc linh cöûu Trònh Coâng Sôn. OÂng Trieát caån thaän cho chuïp hình oâng – aùo sô mi traéng, caø vaït ñen – thaân maät ngoài beân caïnh hai coâ em gaùi cuûa Trònh Coâng Sôn ñeå ñaêng baùo. Hai oâng Voõ Vaên Kieät vaø Nguyeãn Vaên Linh moät thôøi töøng giöõ caùc chöùc vuï thaønh uûy Saøi Goøn, thuû töôùng vaø Toång bí thö sôï bò daân chuùng cheâ “queâ moät cuïc” cuõng gôûi quaø phuùng ñieáu vôùi tö caùch “caù nhaân”. Dö luaän Saøi goøn moå xeû töøng chöõ caûm töôûng cuûa ca só Khaùnh Ly, ngöôøi Trònh Coâng Sôn ghi trong moät thuû buùt cuûa anh naêm 1995 laø “moät ngöôøi baïn cuûa ñònh meänh, vónh vieãn thöông yeâu nhau”. Khaùnh Ly noùi: “Caùch ñaây hai naêm toâi gaëp oâng laàn cuoái ... toâi cuõng linh caûm ñieàu ñoù ... Thaät ra oâng Trònh Coâng Sôn khoâng phaûi cuûa rieâng ai caû, oâng laø cuûa taát caû moïi ngöôøi ... Vieäc oâng ôû laïi vaø naèm xuoáng treân queâ höông laø ñieàu ñuùng bôûi vì oâng Sôn laø ngöôøi yeâu queâ höông vaø daân toäc. Töø oâng toâi thaønh danh vaø quan troïng hôn caû laø toâi thaønh nhaân. Toâi ñaõ soáng  cuøng teân tuoåi oâng gaàn 40 naêm vôùi nhöõng lôøi oâng daën. Phaûi luoân luoân soáng giöõa ñôøi vôùi moät taám loøng vaø soáng vôùi ngöôøi vôùi söï töû teá. OÂng Trònh Coâng Sôn laø moät nöûa ñôøi soáng cuûa toâi.” Tình caûm Khaùnh Ly daønh cho Trònh Coâng Sôn thaät tha thieát ñaäm ñaø, nhöng sao chöõ  “OÂng” ô hôø laïc loõng theá? Khaùnh Ly caàn moät khoaûng caùch teá nhò vôùi Trònh Coâng Sôn ñeå laøm gì?
Ña soá ngöôøi lôùp tuoåi 60 khoâng thích Trònh Coâng Sôn nhö giôùi treû 30. Hoï traùch Trònh Coâng Sôn ñaõ saùng taùc nhöõng baøi ca ru nguû trong thôøi kyø chieán tranh, traùch anh “phaûn chieán”, traùch anh say söa. Chæ moät phaàn nhoû thoâng caûm söï traên trôû cuûa Trònh Coâng Sôn tröôùc thaân phaän moät nöôùc nhöôïc tieåu traàn mình giöõa hai laèn ñaïn. Anh ñaém chìm vaøo nhöõng giaác mô kyø bí baèng röôïu maïnh ñeå toaùt ra nhöõng lôøi ca buoác loøng ngöôøi. Quaù trình quan heä giöõa Trònh Coâng Sôn vôùi chính quyeàn töø naêm 1975 cho ñeán ngaøy anh naèm xuoáng laø moät quaù trình ñaáu tranh ñeå giöõ tö caùch cuûa ngöôøi ngheä só.  Sau khi thaønh laäp chính quyeàn môùi ñaûng coäng saûn ao öôùc gì hôn laø Trònh Coâng Sôn saùng taùc cho moät baûn nhaïc ca ngôïi Hoà Chí Minh, ca ngôïi ñaûng. Baøi haùt chôø ñôïi khoâng ra ñôøi, anh bò truø yeám. Ngöôøi ta ñöa anh veà queâ ôû Hueá giao cho nhöõng chöùc vuï thaät keâu. Ngöôøi ta cho anh ñi nöôùc ngoaøi thaàm mong anh ôû laïi luoân cho raûnh maét anh vaãn luø luø trôû veà. Baèng söï can ñaûm hieám coù anh naém ñöôïc quaû tim cuûa quaàn chuùng buoäc ngöôøi caàm quyeàn khoâng theå hôø höõng tröôùc caùi cheát cuûa anh ñeå vôùt vaùt raèng Trònh Coâng Sôn tröôùc sau vaãn laø “phe ta.” Anh khoâng laø cuûa ai caû.

TIEÁNG VIEÄT COØN, NÖÔÙC VIEÄT COØN

    Nhaø nöôùc coäng saûn chuû tröông laøm trong saùng tieáng Vieät. Trong thôøi kyø coøn chieán tranh vaø nhaát laø sau khi chieán thaéng hoï ñaåy chuû tröông treân ñeán ñoä loá bòch. Nhaø hoä sinh ñoåi laïi laø xöôõng ñeû, nam hoïc sinh, nöõ hoïc sinh goïi laø hoïc troø trai, hoïc troø gaùi, caàu tieâu goïi laø nhaø æa... Vì chöôùng tai neân caùc danh töø naêng noå treân bieán maát vôùi thôøi gian. Moät hieän töôïng ngöôïc laïi xuaát hieän. Nhieàu tieáng Vieät thoâng duïng ñöôïc thay baèng tieáng Haùn Vieät luø muø hôn. Daøn baøi daïy hoïc goïi laø giaùo aùn, khôûi coâng goïi laø thi coâng ... Luùc ngöôïc luùc xuoâi tuøy höùng vaø tuøy tieän khoâng theo moät nguyeân taéc naøo.
Chöa heát, chính saùch (hoaëc khoâng chính saùch) cuûa Nha Du  lòch Quoác gia môùi laø laï. Ngoaøi Haø Noäi gôïi hieáu kyø, Hueá laø nôi thu huùt nhieàu du khaùch sau khi kinh thaønh Hueá vôùi laêng taåm vaø hoaøng thaønh ñöôïc Lieân hieäp quoác coâng nhaän laø baûo vaät cuûa theá giôùi. Trong caùc laêng taåm laêng vua Töï Ñöùc ñeïp nhaát. Laêng vua Töï Ñöùc goïi laø Khieâm Laêng naèm vaét treân moät ngoïn ñoài thoâng huøng vó ôû Vaïn Nieân beân höõu ngaïn soâng Höông.
Thaêm Hueá laàn naøy toâi trôû laïi Khieâm Laêng, nôi mang nhieàu kyû nieäm cuûa toâi thôøi thô aáu. Böôùc qua coång chính, moät con ñöôøng laùt gaïch taûng hai beân ñöôøng troàng hoa söù  nôû traéng xoùa, caùnh traéng, loøng vaøng toûa ra muøi thôm maùt dòu daãn vaøo laêng. Nhaø maùt, nôi vua Töï Ñöùc caâu caù thuôû sinh tieàn döïng treân moät hoà sen beân phaûi. Giöõa hoà laø moät nuùi non boä. Beân traùi choùt voùt treân maáy chuïc baäc thang laø moä vua Töï Ñöùc. Leo heát caùc baäc thang toâi ngaãu nhieân ñöùng tröôùc taám bia ñaù lôùn chaèng chòt chöõ Haùn ñöôïc döïng tröôùc moä vua Töï Ñöùc cuøng vôùi moät du khaùch ngöôøi Canada. Du khaùch hoûi toâi coù phaûi laø ngöôøi Vieät? Toâi traû lôøi khaúng ñònh. OÂng ta hoûi tieáp: “Coù hai caùch vieát tieáng Vieät phaûi khoâng?” Toâi chöa kòp hieåu caâu hoûi thì du khaùch chæ vaøo taám bia giaûi thích: “Toâi bieát ngöôøi Vieät duøng maãu töï  a, b, c. nhö chuùng toâi, coøn chöõ  kia gioáng chöõ cuûa ngöôøi Taøu laø loái vieát khaùc?” Vôõ leõ, toâi boãng thaáy ngöôïng vì nhìn taám bia chaèng chòt chöõ Taøu toâi cuõng khoâng hieàu moät chöõ naøo. Toâi traû lôøi: “Thöa khoâng, chuùng toâi chæ coù moät loái chöõ vieát, chöõ treân taám moä bia kia laø chöõ Taøu.” Vaãn chöa heát ngaïc nhieân du khaùch hoûi: “Theá sao khoâng coù baûn dòch ra chöõ Vieät cho ngöôøi Vieät vaø moät baûn tieáng Anh cho ngöôøi nöôùc ngoaøi.” Toâi khoâng bieát phaûi traû lôøi sao vôùi du khaùch. Chaúng leõ noùi Nha Du Lòch Quoác Gia baän chöa laøm, hay Nha Du Lòch khoâng quan taâm, Nha Du Lòch ....
Söï toø moø cuûa ngöôøi du khaùch laøm toâi lieân töôûng ñeán nhöõng taám bia chöõ Haùn khaùc khaéc treân ñaù caåm thaïch, nhöõng taám hoaønh phi röïc rôõ chöõ vaøng vieát treân neàn ñoû gaïch toâi thaáy ôû Vaên Mieáu, Phuû Taây Hoà,  ñeàn Quaùn Thaùnh,  chuøa Traán Quoác ôû Haø Noäi, ôû cöûa Ngoï Moân, Phu Vaên Laâu vaø trong hoaøng thaønh Hueá, vaø voâ soá nhöõng nôi khaùc. Ñöùng tröôùc chuùng nhö ñöùng tröôùc moät röøng caây. Toâi  boãng öôùc ao ñöôïc hieåu yù nghóa cuûa nhöõng doøng chöõ treân nhöõng taám bia, nhöõng böùc hoaønh phi chöõ Haùn. Toâi seõ bieát nhieàu hôn caùc baøi söû  khoâ khan ñaõ hoïc. Toâi seõ gaàn guõi hôn vôùi lòch söû  nöôùc nhaø vaø bieát ñaâu toâi seõ töï haøo hôn veà queâ höông mình. Toâi töï hoûi taïi sao moät vaán ñeà ñôn giaûn nhö vaäy maø Nha Du Lòch coù töø ngaøy chính phuû Baûo Ñaïi, qua chính phuû oâng Dieäm, oâng Thieäu, oâng Hoà vôùi 26 naêm hoøa bình vaø ngaønh du lòch laø ngaønh ñöôïc Nhaø nöôùc khuyeán khích maø khoâng ai laøm. Töï vaán mình sao nhöõng röøng chöõ Haùn ñoù thaáy töø thuôû coøn ñeå choûm maø khoâng thaéc maéc, cho ñeán khi bò moät ngöôøi ngoaïi quoác chaát vaán? Coù leõ aûnh höôûng cuûa Khoång hoïc thaám vaøo xöông tuûy maø chuùng ta khoâng hay. Chuùng ta voïng ngoaïi, chuùng ta coi thöôøng chính chuùng ta. Chuùng ta laø nhöõng ngöôøi thieáu vaên hoùa. Toâi boãng tìm ra nguyeân nhaân taïi sao giaûi ñaát Vieät Nam hình chöõ  S ñöôïc thieân nhieân öu ñaõi nhö vaäy, con ngöôøi Vieät Nam thoâng minh kieân cöôøng nhö vaäy, maø böôùc vaøo theá kyû 21 ñaát nöôùc vaãn ñieâu linh, daân vaãn khoå.

HUYEÀN THOAÏI CUÛ CHI

    “Gaùi Cuû Chi, chæ cu anh, hoûi: cuû chi?”
    Ñoù laø caâu ñoái toâi nghe ngöôøi taøi xeá xe taxi baûy choã ngoài chôû chuùng toâi ñi thaêm ñòa ñaïo Cuû Chi ñoá ngöôøi phuï xe. Thaáy ngöôøi phuï xe chöa hieåu, anh taøi xeá noùi: maày noùi laùi “Cuû Chi” thaønh “chæ cu” thì hieåu.
    Hoâm 10 thaùng 4 toâi cuøng vôï choàng moät ngöôøi baïn thaân vaø 2 coâ chaùu gaùi ñi vieáng ñòa ñaïo Cuû Chi. Quaän Cuû Chi thuoäc tænh Bình Döông laø moät quaän truø phuù goàm ñoàng baèng vaø röøng caây thaáp caùch Saøi Goøn khoaûng 30 caây soá veà höôùng Taây Baéc. Trong vuøng röøng caây thaáp coù moät ñòa ñaïo ñaøo saâu döôùi loøng ñaát goàm 3 taàng haàm cao thaáp khaùc nhau ñeå cho caùc du kích aån naùu, nghæ ngôi vaø ñaùnh phaù caùc ñôn vò Myõ ñoùng trong vuøng Baéc Saøi Goøn. Trong thôøi kyø chieán tranh caùc baûn tin quaân söï thænh thoaûng thoâng tin caùc cuoäc ñuïng ñoä taïi Cuû Chi giöõa quaân ñoäi Myõ vaø du kích Bình Döông.
    Sau chieán tranh ñòa ñaïo Cuû Chi ñöôïc mieâu taû nhö laø moät heä thoáng ñòa ñaïo daøi maáy traêm caây soá  ñaøo ngay döôùi caùc ñôn vò ñoùng quaân cuûa Hoa Kyø vaø quaân ñoäi Myõ ñaõ duøng moïi vuõ khí coù trong tay vaãn khoâng huûy dieät ñöôïc ñòa ñaïo. Nhaân vieân höôùng daãn noùi vôùi du khaùch ngoaïi quoác raèng trong thôøi kyø chieán tranh caùc du kích döôùi caùc ñòa ñaïo thöôøng xuaát hieän töø  caùc mieäng haàm naèm ngay giöõa caên cöù  quaàn thaûo vôùi quaân ñoäi Myõ roài chui bieät taêm vaøo heä thoáng haàm haèng chòt ôû döôùi.  Qua mieâu taû chính thöùc cuûa chính quyeàn vaø qua nhöõng lôøi truyeàn mieäng cuûa caùc du khaùch nöôùc ngoaøi deã tính, Cuû Chi bieán thaønh moät huyeàn thoaïi, moät ñòa danh du lòch haáp daãn.
    Chuùng toâi ñeán nôi vaøo moät buoåi saùng noùng vaø aåm. Ñòa ñaïo naèm beân traùi tænh loä Bình Döông, beân kia ñöôøng laø cô sôû tieáp khaùch, quaày baùn veù, phoøng chieáu phim taøi lieäu, phoøng trieån laõm vaø quaùn giaûi khaùt, quaùn aên. ÔÛ ñaây ngoaïi tröø caùc coâ ngoài ôû quaày veù, caùc nhaân vieân phuïc dòch khaùc ñeàu aên maëc nhö du kích. Chuùng toâi ñeán nôi vöøa heát giôø xem chieáu phim neân chuùng toâi theo ngöôøi du kích höôùng daãn vieân ñi xem ñòa daïo tröôùc. Chuùng toâi ñöôïc höôùng daãn qua caùc ñöôøng haàm goàm cöûa vaøo vaø cöûa ra gaàn ñoù vaø ñöôïc giôùi thieäu laø moät phaàn cuûa moät heä thoáng ñòa ñaïo daøi 250 caây soá, qua phoøng tröng baøy haàm choâng vaø mìn baåy, caùc phoøng hoïp, phoøng nghæ ngôi döôùi maët ñaát, ñöôïc cho xem nhöõng quaû bom khoâng noå ñaõ ñöôïc ruùt ngoøi vaø moät hoá bom B52 ñöôøng kính roäng chöøng 10 meùt saâu chöøng 8 meùt coû ñaõ phuû kín. Ngöôøi höôùng daãn cho bieát ngöôøi Myõ ñaõ thaû haøng traêm traùi bom nhö vaäy nhöng sau chieán tranh ñaõ ñöôïc laáp baèng. Nhìn quanh toâi khoâng thaáy daáu veát cuûa taøn phaù nhö vaäy. Tröôùc moät mieäng haàm moät chò du kích höôùng daãn ñang thuyeát phuïc moät phuï nöõ Nhaät Baûn khoâng neân xuoáng haàm vì “thieáu khoâng khí, chò coù theå baát tænh”. Ngöôøi phuï nöõ Nhaät Baûn, coù leõ laø moät phoùng vieân ñi tìm söï thaät, nhaát ñònh xuoáng haàm. Toâi chôø chò xuoáng vaø thaáy chò töôi tænh ra khoûi mieäng haàm ñaàu kia. Trôû veà phoøng chieáu phim chuùng toâi ñöôïc xem moät cuoán phim ñen traéng, noäi dung ñôn sô,  phaàn ñaàu tuyeân truyeàn coâng cuoäc “choáng Myõ cöùu nöôùc”, phaàn coøn laïi noùi veà caùc cuoäc boû bom cuûa khoâng quaân Hoa kyø vaø caùc cuoäc taán coâng baèng thieát giaùp vaø cuoäc ñaùnh traû cuûa du kích Bình Döông. Khoâng thaáy cuoán phim noùi gì nhieàu veà ñòa ñaïo Cuû Chi: coâng trình xaây caát, chieán coâng ... nhö du khaùch chôø ñôïi. Cuõng may beân traùi maøn aûnh laø moät hoïa ñoà ñòa ñaïo Cuû Chi coù 3 taàng ñöôïc veû moät caùch ñôn sô. Thaáy phim khoâng haáp daãn toâi böôùc laïi gaàn quan saùt hoïa ñoà.
    Sau cuoäc tham quan toâi coù caûm töôûng Cuû Chi laø moät huyeàn thoaïi hôn laø söï thaät, hay söï  thaät chæ laø moät phaàn cuûa huyeàn thoaïi. Huyeàn thoaïi coù theå ñaõ ñöôïc xaây döïng bôûi caùc phoùng vieân baùo chí Myõ khoâng uûng hoä söï can thieäp cuûa Hoa kyø vaø ñöôïc khai thaùc bôûi ngöôøi chieán thaéng. Trong thôøi kyø chieán tranh hoï ngoài ôû Saøi Goøn goùp nhaët tin töùc qua caùc baûn tin quaân söï, theâm thaét vaø phoùng ñaïi caùc chieán coâng cuûa ñoái phöông. Nhöõng chi tieát nhö heä thoáng ñòa ñaïo daøi 250 caây soá, coù nhaø maùy ñieän, beänh vieän, coù nôi nghæ ngôi cho caû tieåu ñoaøn v.v... laø nhöõng chi tieát caàn nhieàu baèng chöùng hôn ñeå chöùng toû laø coù thaät. Veà phöông dieän quaân söï moät heä thoáng ñòa ñaïo nhö vaäy cuõng coù theå ñöôïc phaù huûy neáu quaân ñoäi Hoa kyø taän duïng caùc vuõ khí coå ñieån coù trong tay.
    Sau chieán tranh nhieàu chieán binh Hoa Kyø ñaõ ñeán vieáng ñòa daïo Cuû Chi. Baây giôø chæ coøn du khaùch treû ña soá töø  AÂu chaâu, Canada, raát ít du khaùch Hoa Kyø. Ngöôøi Myõ ñaõ chaùn. Taïi sao hoï khoâng noùi ra? Coù leõ vì töï troïng. Ngöôøi thua khoâng coù quyeàn ñính chính nhöõng gì ngöôøi thaéng noùi. Hôn nöõa huyeàn thoaïi Cuû Chi neáu coù cuõng do Hoa Kyø maø ra.
    Toâi hoûi chuù du kích höôùng daãn.
-    Hoài coøn chieán tranh em coù bieát gì veà ñòa ñaïo Cuû Chi khoâng?”
-    Khoâng. Em coøn nhoû, nhöng cha em töøng chieán ñaáu ôû ñaây.
-    Chaéc cha em keå laïi nhieàu chieán coâng li kì cuûa oång taïi ñaây?
-    Cuõng ít thoâi. Cha em ñaõ hôn 50 tuoåi, voán ít noùi. Hôn nöõa oâng coøn baän chaïy maùy ñuoâi toâm chôû khaùch nuoâi maáy ñöùa em cuûa em.

LY NÖÔÙC  LÖNG DAÀN:

Treân ñöôøng leân Taân Sôn Nhaát trôû veà Hoa Kyø toâi thaáy moät khaåu hieäu lôùn vieát treân töôøng moät cao oác ôû quaän 1: “Kinh teá thò tröôøng theo ñònh höôùng xaõ hoäi chuû nghóa ñeå laøm cho daân giaøu nöôùc maïnh, taïo laäp coâng bình vaø xaây döïng neáp soáng vaên minh.” Töø cuoái thaäp nieân 1980 aùp duïng kinh teá thò tröôøng thì sinh hoaït kinh teá trôû neân deã chòu ñoái vôùi giôùi buoân thuùng baùn meït, nhöng daân chöa giaøu. Giaøu chaêng laø caùn boä, ñaûng vieân coù quyeàn coù theá vaø moät soá nhoû khoâng ôû trong ñaûng nhöng bieát maùnh mung trong heä thoáng thò tröôøng loûng leûo. Ña soá daân, nhaát laø nhaân daân soáng ôû thoân queâ laøm aên khoù khaên vaø raát ngheøo. Nöôùc chöa maïnh. Söï kính neå cuûa caùc nöôùc laùng gieàng caøng luùc caøng giaûm suùt. Trung quoác aùp löïc laán ñaát bieân giôùi treân ñaát lieàn vaø caùc haûi ñaûo. Khoâng  coù söï coâng bình trong sinh hoaït chính trò ñoäc ñaûng vaø do ñoù khoâng coù söï coâng bình trong xaõ hoäi. Neáp soáng vaên minh? Neáu xem vaên minh laø moät ít phöông tieän vaät chaát nhö truyeàn hình, maùy laïnh, beáp ga, ñieän thoaïi caàm tay ... thì Vieät Nam coù chuùt vaên minh. Nhöng neáu hieåu vaên minh laø neáp soáng töû teá, thaønh phaàn xaõ hoäi naøo cuõng bieát soáng trong khuoân khoå vaø nhieäm vuï cuûa mình, ngay thaúng vôùi nhau, coù luaät coù leä, ngöôøi caàm quyeàn ra ngöôøi caàm quyeàn, quan toøa ra quan toøa, thaày ra thaày, thôï ra thôï thì Vieät Nam chöa theå goïi laø coù neáp soáng vaên minh.
Toâi lieân töôûng ñeán thaønh phoá Hoà Chí Minh, nôi caùc nhaø maët tieàn roäng raõi theânh thang ñeàu laø nhaø cuûa caùn boä lôùn cuûa nhaø nöôùc, nhöõng ngöôøi chaúng bao giôø bieát ñeán ñòa ñaïo Cuû Chi.
    Ly nöùôùc Vieät Nam löng daàn!

                                                                                                            Traàn Bình Nam

______________________

    THE GLASS OF WATER IS NOT EVEN HALF FULL

                                                                                                          Tran Binh Nam

Summary: I went back to visit Vietnam for the second time in March and April 2001. I was not as excited as the first time two years ago. That time I had not seen the country for 22 years. The moment the immigration officer stamped his approval on my visa after a lengthy examination and questions I was amazed as if I were traveling to the moon. This time the exit process was much simpler. The young officer asked me how long I planned to stay in Vietnam. I said 5 weeks. He quickly looked over my application for entry, put his stamp on it and let me go. I stayed two days in Saigon with one of my nephew then I went to Nha Trang to see my brother and friends. Hanoi was my next stop where I visited Ha Long Bay, Cat Ba Island, the pass of Chi Lang and Nam Quan border post. My intention of visiting Dien Bien Phu did not materialize due to lack of time. From Hanoi you may go to Dien Bien Phu by land or by air. Either way will take you four days, two for going to and from, two for visiting the battlefield. I flew to Hue to visit my sister, the tombs of my parents and other friends, mostly my classmates of high school years. I went back to Nha Trang for three weeks to enjoy the beach with Luu and his wife Dieu Trang flying up from Saigon. Dieu Trang was the principal of Nha Trang high school for girls from 1973 to 1975. Her students and teachers hosted her with a heavy schedule that also involved Luu and myself.  Time went by quickly. By early April I flew to Saigon to catch the flight back to the United States. I did not mention earlier that my son Cuong along with Phuong Tam and Paul (the eldest daughter and her husband) accompanied me to Vietnam too. All of them went back to the United States some days before me. Here are some notes on my trip.

OLD FRIEND NGUYEN XUAN THAM

    Prior to my departure, one of my friends, Quynh Tieu, e-mailed me a note with the address of Nguyen Xuan Tham in Hanoi and asked me if I could manage to see him. Nguyen Xuan Tham was our high school classmate in Hue. In 1954, while in 11th grade, he joined the revolutionary movement against France for independence. He went to North Vietnam as the Geneva Accords dividing Vietnam in two parts went into effect. I wrote a short letter to Tham asking him to write or call me at my brother’s address in Nha Trang.
    As soon as I arrived to Hanoi, Tham called me. As his home on Ba Trieu Street was not far from Phu Gia hotel where I stayed, ten minutes later we were in each other’s arms in Phu Gia Hotel lobby. Forty-seven years! The last time we saw each other we were in our twenties, now we were two rather old men. Tham looked darkened and much older than I had imagined.
Tham told me what he did from the time he set foot in the North They settled in Thanh Hoa, one hundred kilometers or so south of Hanoi for the first leg of their journey. They worked for a living while attending school. Tham gathered firewood in the forest nearby, others moonlight as farmers, carpenters ... After high school graduation he was sent to the Soviet Union for advanced study. He got an Associate PhD. Coming back to Vietnam he taught and wrote short stories. After 1975 he was rewarded with a post of advisor to Angola. Back again to Vietnam he taught at Hanoi polytechnic university as associate professor. He said he retired just a month ago. Unfortunately, a medical check up discovered he had upper jaw cancer. Surgery to remove the cancerous tissues was scheduled at the end of March. Tham recounted his life and his present battle against cancer with a monotonous voice as if nothing were important anymore in this earthly life. Nevertheless, he raised his voice from time to time as if he was optimistic with the current conditions, a necessary expression for people living a long time under a dictatorial regime when talking to friends. I inquired about the preparation for surgery and medication needed. He said his status permitted him to be admitted free to hospital and no charges for surgery. Doctors told him he needs better medicattion - which his status does not allow - for rapid recovery if ever the surgery proved successful. I asked how much money would be needed for good medication and where to buy it. He said good medication is available in Hanoi and the cost is around ten million dong. I estimated it to about 700 US dollars. Tham handed me a censured manuscript of his poems ready to go to print office and said his savings for the printing will be used for medication. Tham said: “ For now, just forget the poems. I want to save my life first” and added: “I went a long way to urge the surgeon  who was about to operate on my cancer to save my life. I want to live a little longer to write. I have a lot of things to write.” I asked Tham why in the world he had to solicit the doctor’s favor. All doctors are supposed to save lives of patients. Tham said he does not know how the elite members in the Politburo and the Central Committee of the Vietnamese Communist Party were treated, but as far as he knows people must pay handsome money to hospital staff if they want to be taken care of properly. If you do not have money what else you can do except to ask for favor. He concluded: “Fortunately I still have some position in society.” I hope my solicitation will not fall on deaf ears.
Two days prior to his admission to hospital I went out to lunch with Tham. He chose a seafood restaurant on the bank of Lake Ho Tay. From his house on Ba Trieu Street the taxicab drove us along the dyke of Hong Ha River. The dyke was such a large concrete highway that, without the exits to the bank of Hong Ha we would have a hard time knowing we were on a dyke. Until ten years ago the dyke - built for centuries - was still made of earth.  Recently people in power in Hanoi had built their own houses on the base of the dyke. Hanoi residents reacted angrily to the controversial constructions, fearing that the weakened dyke would be unable to prevent Hong Ha River from flooding the city during the rainy season. The least influential person’s houses were demolished; and a project to rebuild the dyke in concrete was in the makings. It was good for the population of Hanoi and it was a relief for people having houses built on the dyke.
    We passed Thanh Nien Avenue (Youth Avenue), a large asphalted street made of stone wandering between Lake Ho Tay and Lake Truc Bach, a smaller lake on the right side. Tham told me: “I had sweated profusely on this street. It was the romantic Co Ngu Alley for Hanoi poets before the revolutionaries took over Hanoi after the Geneva Accords. It has been rebuilt with stone and mostly by human muscles of youth coming from all parts of the North and youth from the South regrouping to the North, like me. Uncle Ho then named it Thanh Nien Avenue. I still smell the ripe pink-pulpet guavas growing plentifully along Co Ngu. They had to be cut down for the enlarged street. We ate them as much as we could; the rest was thrown away with regret.”
    Beyond the Tran Quoc Temple we saw the five-star Thang Loi Hotel before going over to the north side of Ho Tay to proceed to Phu Tay Ho, a small temple at the end of a split of narrow land originating from the north bank jutting out to the center of Ho Tay. A small street bordered in both sides by numerous seafood restaurants led to Phu Tay Ho. On the north bank of  Tay Ho were many imposing red- roofed houses. Rumors had gone that, years ago the powerful members of the Communist Party appropriate the best parts of the north bank to build their retired mansions. I asked the taxi driver, amused: “Whom those gorgeous houses belong to?” Hesitatingly the driver said: “The people! (of dan)” Tham added: “Of dan gian, you know!” (dan gian taken together means the people, but taken as two separate words, it means bad people)
    On the way back Tham asked the taxi driver to go by Lenin Park. In the middle of the Park a statue of Lenin made of stone stood tall against the cloudy sky, with a wall of trees as background. Tham murmured to my ears: “This probably is his last statue in the world. To be different from all other countries, that is Vietnam’s trademark.” I nodded approvingly. The taxi driver kept his silence. After the failed coup against Mikhail Gorbachev in 1991, Gorbachev dissolved the Soviet Union’s Communist Party. People in Moscow took to the streets and pulled down the Lenin statue in Red Square. People in other Eastern countries did not wait long to follow suit. Passing Lenin statue, Tham asked me to stop in front of the hospital where he will soon be operated for cancer, located across the street from Hanoi Towers, formerly Hoa Lo, or Hanoi’s Hilton as named by American POW’s. Hoa Lo was the famous prison where the French colonial Administration jailed the revolutionaries and later on served as jail to keep the American flyers, among them the famous POW turned politician John McCain. The designer of Hanoi Towers saved a portion of Hoa Lo that included a tower for armed guards and some red-roofed cells. As official explanation goes, it helps to remember the atrocities of the imperialists. I asked Tham as to why he needed to stop by at the hospital. He said he had to get in, don his patient’s blouse and claim his reserved bed. Otherwise, he could lose his bed to other patients. I was surprised at the way the hospitals in Hanoi were managed.
We hugged each other. Tham stepped out of the taxi. I watched him walking through the hospital entrance with confused feelings. The next day I flew to Hue.

NAM QUAN PASS

    Had Phuong Tam and Paul not have problems with air travel to China, I would not have been visiting Nam Quan Pass. Due to a minor booking problem, they were not listed on the scheduled flight to Con Minh from Hanoi; they decided to enter China by land through Nam Quan Pass. Cuong and I accompanied them for the trip to the northern border. Nam Quan pass was called Friendship Gate to emphasize the friendship between the two countries. Friendship did not mean the two countries have not been fighting each other bloodily down the road of Vietnam’s long history. The most recent war occurred twenty-two years ago. In 1979, a hundred thousand Chinese troops invaded Vietnam, destroying the city of Lang Son and Dong Dang, a smaller town further north.  Chinese troops thrust their way deep into Bac Giang, and stopped right before the gate of Hanoi.  Later western intelligence disclosed that China was afraid of Soviet attacks on its atomic facilities.
    The portion of National Route No. 1 connecting Hanoi to Lang Son is about 150 kilometers long. The two-way enlarged route is well repaved with asphalt, bordered by lanes for motorcycles, bicycles and pedestrians. It was safe to drive at 80 kilometers per hours on the flat portion from Hanoi to Bac Giang before entering Lang Son. From Lang Son the route wandered through a mountainous area marked here and there by high stoned hills. If the scenery were filled by water you might think you have another Ha Long Bay on land. The narrow pass of Chi Lang was paved with cement on both sides. Scripts depicting the heroic ambush by king Le Loi six centuries ago annihilating the invading Chinese troops led by the famous Chinese general Lieu Thang could be seen. A chilling feeling went down my spinal cord as I imagined thousands of Vietnamese soldiers charging the Chinese invaders. The death of Lieu Thang marked the continuation of Vietnam as a sovereign nation.
    Here is Lang Son, the largest northernmost city! Lang Son has seen the French colonial troops mauled by general Giap in their withdrawal in 1950. In 1979 Chinese troops leveled Lang Son to the ground as an act of revenging Vietnam for the overthrow of Chinese allied Pol Pot regime months earlier. Lang Son and Dong Dang have been partly rebuilt. The sign of reconstruction can be seen everywhere. It was hot, dusty and humid in this region in April. Folklore says Dong Dang has the market of Ky Lua. But Ky Lua was not in Dong Dang. It was right in the center of Lang Son. Why? Everyone was too busy finding an answer if there ever is one. Commerce activities along the border are the foremost occupation of Lang Son inhabitants. We left Lang Son going north. The milestones marked: Dong Dang 8 kilometers; Nam Quan Pass 11 kilometers. A large custom facility between Dong Dang and Lang Son controlled the flow of goods imported to Vietnam. Hundreds of trucks full of merchandises parked on the right side of Route Number One waiting to be checked by Vietnamese custom officials. Out of the pavements along the trucks the gathering made makeshift market. The row of trucks looked like a convoy bringing troops to the war front. In fact this was a war, an economic war. The amount of merchandises officially passing through Nam Quan Pass and other hundreds of tons of goods passing through other points along the northern border evading tax constituted a big economic battle for Vietnam.
    After Dong Dang I could not wait to see the Nam Quan Pass. A picture of the Pass similar to the majestic gates of Thuong Tu or Dong Ba in the capital city of Hue I saw in a geography book sixty years ago still haunted me. At the border however, I did not see the Pass. Instead I saw a gate like the one of a paid parking lot with some policemen standing guard. I came to the custom facility, a large building, and as Paul and Phuong Tam were doing their paperwork I asked a custom officer: “How can I see Nam Quan Pass?” He said, gesturing toward the gate “Twenty meters beyond that gate is the end of Vietnam territory. You cannot see the Pass from here. It is inside China.” I was not satisfied with the answer, but I did not inquire further. Two years ago Vietnam signed a land border agreement with China. The contents of the Agreement were not disclosed. Rumors from dissident groups inside the country circulated around the world that the Vietnam Communist Party has ceded the high points near the border to China under the pretext of common security. Recently at the general convention of the VNCP in April 2001 Nong Duc Manh replaced Le Kha Phieu, until then the VNCP boss. The conventionists accused Le Kha Phieu of four counts, one of them was ceding too much to China in the Agreement. Nobody knows the truth, probably not until the Agreement would be disclosed by Nong Duc Manh. It is interesting to mention here the words of professor Nguyen Xuan Tham. Vietnam is quite a peculiar country in the world community; the people are deprived of the right to know the contents of an international agreement affecting the security of their country.

UNIFIED TRAIN S7

    On March 27, Cuong and I took the express train S7 from Hue to go to Nha Trang. All express trains originating from Hanoi to Saigon and back were named Unified Trains. There were two kinds of Unified Trains, high-speed and ultra-high speed. S7 was of high-speed kind, stopping at almost all main stations. From Hue to Nha Trang S7 stopped at Lang Co, Da Nang, Tam Quan, Dieu Tri, Qui Nhon, Tuy Hoa, Nha Trang. The ultra-high speed trains stop only at the larger cities.
    I missed the ultra- high speed train that morning because of the working of the black market with which I was not familiar. The ticket clerk lied to me that the ultra- high speed train I wanted to book would not stop at Nha Trang, so I took the high-speed train. Aboard the train I learned that all Unified Trains regardless of speed would stop at Nha Trang. But it was too late.
The compartment has two rows of beds; each row has three beds, one on top of others leaving enough space in between for you to lie down for a nap. Cuong and I had reserved two beds at the bottom. In the compartment I found three passengers. On the left, Ms. Lan, 45, professor of the school of pedagogy of Kontum, taking the top bed, Ms. Van 37, a military journalist taking the middle. On the right, Mr. Vinh, a police officer in his thirties, taking the middle bed. The top right was for Mrs. Hong, in her fifties, a passenger boarding the train at Hue. She complained as she climbed to her bed: “I cannot take it anymore. You need to go in a hurry and you have to bribe somebody 50 thousand dong to get this damned bed!” As soon as the train left the station she was snoring deep in her sleep. Ms. Lan, Van and Vinh engaged in small talk while Cuong went out of the compartment to watch the scenery. I chose to rest in my own bed.
    Away from Phu Bai, S7 sneaked its way smoothly southward under a clear sky covered with cumulus. On the right a range of blue mountains appeared far away, and on the left green rice fields stretching toward the sea. A peaceful atmosphere reigned, except the voices of Ms. Lan, Ms. Van and Mr. Vinh. They conversed about their daily work. Ms. Lan, a good looking woman, was returning to Kontum after finishing an advanced course in pedagogy in Hanoi. She will disembark at Dieu Tri and catch an express bus to go to Kontum before dark. She was the sole daughter of an underground district party chief during the war against French domination. After the war (with French), then one-year old, she went to the north with her parents. She spoke with a Hanoi accent mixing with Binh Dinh’s and she did not hide her compassion toward the south where she was born. Ms. Van of Hanoi was sent to NhaTrang to be part of a team of teachers for a short military reporters training session. She was a bit chunky, with fair complexion, easy going and spoke with pure Hanoi accent. She said the liberation of the South in 1975 did not have any significant imprint on her. She was only 10 years old at the time. She was satisfied with her present job as an expert in military reporting. Vinh, the police officer did not reveal much about himself, talking just enough to maintain the conversation with Ms. Lan and Ms. Van while sipping a can of beer. He offered beer to Ms Van. Ms. Van refused the offer saying she was not in good shape.
    The train moved quietly, lightly oscillating, marking regular and distinct sounds when the wheels met the small space between the railways. Stretching on my bed I could not sleep nevertheless, listening to the conversation. They talked openly, but I thought they might not express their feelings if they had bitterness in their minds. The train stopped at Lang Co, adding one more locomotive to mount the Hai Van Pass. It was raining lightly. Some little girls covered with makeshift raincoats were selling boiled sweet potatoes, maniocs, and spring roll wrappers, cut sugar canes in small nylon packages. You may buy dried squids and beer from them. Handicapped people on crutches were approaching the train windows to ask for money from the travelers. Mrs. Hong was awakened by the noise. She climbed down from her bed, buying a package of sugar canes and a can of coca-cola. She gave money handsomely to the handicapped people, then sat down on the edge of my bed sipping her refreshment, not talking to anyone.
    A middle- aged traveler walked by. Ms. Lan greeted him and introduced him as professor Man, her former teacher at the University of Hue. Ms. Lan talked about professor Man as a kind teacher toward the students. At a postgraduate course he gave good grades to all students regardless of the qualities of their work. Asked why he did so, he said amusingly  “Higher education should have high grades”. Mrs. Hong reacted: “Your story gave me a chill along my spinal cord. Education is the most important thing for a nation and should not be treated lightly. Bad teachers produce unqualified graduates. Your teacher Man may have a good heart but what he does has long lasting consequences for the country’s future. How this country could be raised to international level of intellect and technology?” Cuong kept his silence. I expected reaction from Ms. Lan, and if not, from Ms. Van or Mr. Vinh. Nothing happened. Ms. Lan turned his back a little away from Mrs. Hong as if she did not want to argue with her. Vinh finished his beer and offered one to Ms. Van again, looking pensively through the windows.
    Cuong engaged a conversation with Mrs. Hong to break the silence. Mrs. Hong opened her heart to Cuong: “I am a merchant of convenience. In that memorable year of 1975 I already had six children. Unfortunately my husband made me pregnant before he was sent to the re-education camp. In 1976 I gave birth to my seventh child. Neighbors were much concerned about my family’s survival. I struggled to survive anyway. Trains and railways were where I lived. I bought merchandises from one city and sold them in another city. My children stayed with my sister under the care of the eldest child, a 10-year-old girl.” Lowering her voice Mrs. Hong said just for Cuong to hear: “Life was hell. I married just a year short of graduation from the University of Hue. I had no experience in earning a living. Anyway I survived years of hardship in the face of a policy against all aspects of commerce by the new government. One of my sons left home, slipped out of the country with friends, and is now settled in Seattle. Others have grown up, married and settled. I only regret that they could not attend schools, as they should. Lack of money is one thing, to be on the wrong side of the war was another reason.” Mrs. Hong said she is doing wholesale commerce now. “Merchandises are packed and charged on the train. People at destination pick them up. I am there to receive the money.” Her husband was released after 12 years of re-education and was eligible for Human Operation (HO) program. Unfortunately he died prior to being interviewed by US officials. The whole family was stuck.
    The trio Lan, Van and Vinh appeared to pay no attention to Mrs. Hong’s story. They continued their conversation with lower voice. Ms. Van told them she once went to DaNang by train and arrived at night. She saw the porters sleeping in the station courtyard. She thought it was so simple to sleep at night right where they work in the daytime. Mrs. Hong intervened provokingly: “Really it was simple, but also it was so miserable. A country is like a family. If the father does not fulfill his responsibility misery falls on his children. People are still so poor and a large portion homeless after so many years of peace! Who is responsible?” Ms. Van retorted mildly: “But the leaders need time, don’t they?” Ms. Hong commented: “Of course everyone needs time to learn. But education is the prerequisites of learning. A doctor may become a good farmer after 6 months of training, but a farmer may not become a doctor regardless how long he learns.” The compartment fell silent. Only the wind due to the motion of the train and the regular noise of the iron wheels on the railways could be heard. Ms. Lan apparently irritated, turned her back further toward Mrs. Hong,  and closed her eyes as if she were sleeping. The police officer took out a pamphlet trying to read. Ms. Van kept silent, looking outside. Cuong engaged in small talk with Ms. Van. She was about Cuong’s age. She asked him about life in the United States and expressed her wish to have an opportunity to visit that country to refresh her thought.  They traded e-mail addresses.
    The police officer got off at Tam Ky. Ms. Lan prepared herself for next stop at Dieu Tri. She said to Cuong: “It would be a favor if you help me move two luggages out of the station gate at Dieu Tri. I still have another two heavy bags. Professor Man promised to help me out, but I don’t like to bother my former teacher.” Mrs. Hong told to Ms. Lan, “You should not ask the young man for help. The train stops only for a few minutes at Dieu Tri. He may miss his train. Just spend some thousand dong and a paid helper will help you out. Don’t be so stingy.” The possibility of Cuong missing the train scared me. I went over the next compartment and let professor Man know that Ms. Lan needed his help. Professor Man came over and heaved Ms. Lan’s two heavy luggages out of the compartment. Lan followed him with her own bags on both hands. I said goodbye to Ms. Lan, wishing her a safe trip back home. I murmured to professor Man: “Teaching pretty students was indeed agreeable and at the same time bothersome, wasn’t it? At Dieu Tri two female students came on to fill the compartment’s vacancy. Mrs. Hong, up again to her bed, and in a few minutes one may hear her snore pleasantly. I took a short nap before the train pulled in to Nha Trang station. It was exactly midnight March 27. The train was one hour late.

TRINH CONG SON ENDS HIS EARTHLY JOURNEY

    Here I am in Nha Trang. Today is April 1. Frenchmen call it “Poisson d’Avril”, the Americans label it “April Fools”, and Vietnamese imitating the French’s call it “Ca Thang Tu”. On April Fools you may disseminate any kind of false news you like. If someone believes them it is his or her problem. Some small things happened to me on that day that were real, not “fools”. My old friend Chuan, 78, took a 10-kilometer trip with his bicycle to come to Nha Trang at 6:AM to enjoy the beach with me. Phuong Tam flew in from Hanoi, Luu and Dieu Trang from Saigon. At 6:PM Luu and Dieu Trang, Ly’s, Chau’s, Duy’s, Nhu and I dined out at Bien Tien, an isolated beach that looks out to Nha Trang bay and connects with the city of Nha Trang by a newly built highway crossing the mouth of Nha Trang River through Bai Duong and Dong De.
Domestically as well as internationally there was important news. In Hanoi members of the Politburo of the VNCP engaged in a deadly struggle for the position of general secretary. In Saigon, composer Trinh Cong Son died of diabetes complications. Over the South China Sea a Chinese jet fighter hit an American intelligence plane. The jet went down. The pilot jumped out and perished. The 24-man crew of the American plane landed safely in HaiNam Island. All this news, except Trinh Cong Son’s death, were cynically treated as April Fools by people on the streets of Vietnam, even though Hanoi’s political atmosphere could compromise the stability of the country. Rumors were everywhere that at some strategic locations in Hanoi anti-aircraft batteries had been positioned. The current general secretary Le Kha Phieu who maneuvered to be reelected, was changing his whereabouts every night for fear of being removed by force. People did not care much about political tension between China and the United States either. The sole news that occupied their mind was the passing away of Trinh Cong Son.
His death hit the headline in all newspapers. The traffic on Pham Ngoc Thach street in Third District was virtually blocked. There were too many motorcycles converging on Trinh Cong Son’ house where his body was being prepared for burial. Young people in Saigon revered Trinh naturally as if his songs with words coming from his dreams and defying all grammatical rules permeated their souls. Nguyen Minh Triet, member of VNCP politburo, party boss of Saigon, sensitive to public feelings came to pay tribute to Trinh Cong Son. He made arrangements to be photographed – white shirt, black tie, seating beside two Trinh’s sisters – and the photos printed in all Saigon newspapers. Even well known retired officials like Nguyen Van Linh and Vo Van Kiet had condolence gifts sent, just to show that they are keeping pace with the people or at least with Nguyen Minh Triet, the man in power. People on the streets dissected every word of Khanh Ly’s condolence on Trinh’s death. In 1995 in a hand written note Trinh Cong Son wrote of Khanh Ly, “A friend of destiny, loving each other forever.” She said to a BBC program in Vietnamese: “Two years ago I met with him. I had the premonition that it was the last. In fact, Mr. Trinh Cong Son does not belong to anyone. He belongs to the people. His choice to stay with the fatherland and die there was the right choice because he loves the country and the Vietnamese people intensely. I owe him a name and, more importantly, the best way to live meaningfully. I have lived for forty years with his name attached to mine and with what he told me. He taught me to live with a good heart to all. Mr. Trinh Cong Son has been half of my life.” Khanh Ly comments on Trinh Cong Son upon his death was burning with sentiment, but the third person she used to refer to Trinh Cong Son sounds so cool. Why does she need a decent interval between her and Mr. Trinh?
Most Vietnamese in their 60’s have reservations with Trinh Cong Son political tendency. They blame him of having compromised the South Vietnamese peoples’ efforts in the war for freedom by composing the anti-war songs and for having drunk most of the time. A very small portion shares his feelings toward the war, according to which it is a war between two ideologies where the Vietnamese people happened to be caught in the crossfire. His drunkenness helped him extract the magic words and to compose songs that go straight to the heart of common people. The relationship between Trinh Cong Son and the VNCP was a struggle to preserve the dignity of an artist. What would be the thing the new government would like most, if not for Trinh Cong Son to compose a song hailing uncle Ho or the VNCP? Trinh Cong Son did not give birth to such a song, and he was kicked down to an empty position in Hue. They let him travel to Europe hoping he would not return and be rid of him for good. He came back every single time. He won in the process the psychological war with the communists and captured the heart of the people. The Vietnamese government could not turn its back on Trinh Cong Son. By paying tribute to Trinh they want to reclaim him as one of theirs. In fact Trinh Cong Son does not belong to anyone.

VIETNAMESE LANGUAGE AND THE EXISTENCE OF THE NATION

    The policy of the communist government is to use Vietnamese language as much as possible. During the war and after taking over the South they pushed this policy to the extreme. Maternity ward became “xuong de”, students of different sex became “hoc tro trai, hoc tro gai”, restroom became “nha ia” ... Those ridiculous vocabularies disappeared with time as nobody used them. Then a reverse phenomenon came into being. A lot of common Vietnamese words were replaced by words with Chinese origin. “Dan bai” (lesson plan) was called “giao an”, “khoi cong” (start a project) is replaced by “thi cong”... There were no rules to be adhered to.
    The policy (or no policy) of the National Tourist Office (NTO) was another thing. Hanoi and Hue are the most attracting places to foreign tourists, especially Hue. The Old Imperial City of Hue and its royal tombs have been recognized as world heritage by UNESCO a decade ago. Tu Duc’s tomb – known as Khiem Lang by the royal family - was the most beautiful. It was built on the evergreen hill of Van Nien on the right bank of Huong Giang River. From afar it looked like a colorful curtain covering the pined hill.
    Visiting Khiem Lang this time, my childhood playground, I had mixed feelings. Beyond the main entrance a paved lane bordering by white frangipanes covered with yellow flowers leading to the center of Khiem Lang. On the right was a lake for lotus, king Tu Duc’s fishing pond, and on the left perched on top of numerous steps was the tomb of the King. Stepping to the top I found myself with a young Canadian tourist in his thirties, before a stele made of marble engraved with Chinese characters. I have seen this stele hundreds of time. I could not read them but I never cared. The tourist asked me after making sure that I was a Vietnamese: “Are there two ways to write Vietnamese?” Realizing that I did not understand his question, he explained, pointing his finger to the marble stele. I know that you write your language using a,b, c like us. So those characters would be another way to write Vietnamese? I said: “No, we have only one way to write our language. Those characters are Chinese”.  He questioned me with curiosity: “So why in the world there were no translation into Vietnamese for Vietnamese and English for foreign tourists?” I had no answer. I could not say the NTO was busy with other things; or the NTO did not pay attention, or any other reason.
    The inquiry of the Canadian tourist made me think back to other marble or stone steles, the wood panels with characters in yellow ink written on red background at Khong Tu Temple, Tay Ho Temple, Quan Thanh, Tran Quoc in Hanoi, and others at the royal palace in Hue. Standing before them was like facing a dense forest; you don’t understand even one word. Suddenly I had the burning desire to understand them if ever they were translated into Vietnamese. I would know my country’s heritage better than what I had learned from the history lessons at high school, and probably I would feel more attached to the country. I asked myself why the leaders of the successive regimes in Vietnam, from Bao Dai back to the 50’s, through presidents Ngo Dinh Diem and Nguyen Van Thieu, and the communists with more than 26 years of peace did not pay attention to such an evidence. I questioned myself why such a trivial question did not come up to me sooner, until a foreign tourist threw it to my face? Probably the Confucius teachings had permeated too deeply our mind making us blind to the first necessities required to make a nation a sovereign one. We are lacking in self-esteem and a self-culture as well. I suddenly realized one of the reasons why this S-shaped Vietnam favored by nature, inhabited by such a hard-working people, still remains a backward country at the dawn of the 21st century.

THE LEGEND OF CU CHI

    On April 10, Dieu Trang, Luu, two of my nieces and I went to visit Cu Chi’s underground tunnels. District Cu Chi in the province of Binh Duong is located about 30 kilometers northeast of Saigon. The story went that in the flat part of Cu Chi covered with shrubs there was a network of underground tunnels the guerrillas used to harrass the American forces during the war. An official pamphlet described Cu Chi as an invincible fighting base. The American forces called on powerful means yet still failed to destroy the base. Cu Chi guides told visitors that during the war, guerrillas from underground tunnels often appeared right in the heart of the American base, killed Americans soldiers then disappeared again into the tunnels without leaving a trace. According to guides, the tunnels were 250 kilometers long, equipped with hospitals, surgery facilities, resting areas, conference rooms, and could handle a military unit as big as a regiment. Naturally Cu Chi became the magnet for tourism.
    We arrived to Cu Chi on a hot and humid morning. The tunnels were located on the left side of the road to Binh Duong. On the right were the receiving facilities with ticket stand, film presentation room, refreshing stands and restaurants. All employees donned guerrilla outfits except the girls at the ticket stand. The scheduled film projection session had been just over when we arrived, the guides decided instead to show us the tunnels first. The portion showed did not impress us at all.  Tunnels entrances and exits were 100 meters apart from one another. We were also showed the rudimentary booby traps of different designs, underground conference rooms, and rest area. A hole of 20 meters diameter and 10 meters depth covered with grass was presented as remnant of B-52 bombing. The flat jungle did not bear any proof of hundreds of holes – now filled, as alleged by the guides. At another tunnel entrance a guide tried to convince a Japanese woman not to enter for fear of suffocation. The Japanese, probably a reporter eager to find the truth, insisted and entered anyway. I saw her reappear at the other end, smiling. Back to the projection room we watched a black and white film about the system of tunnels. It was another disappointment. The film was of mediocre quality, containing more wishful thinking than facts about the tunnels. I had strong feelings that Cu Chi was just another Hanoi’s propaganda coup. Cu Chi story was at best a legend, built up with the help of anti-war American reporters. During the war, they lounged in air-conditioned coffee shops in Saigon, gathered and dispatched news aimed at justifying that Americans were on the wrong side of the war. The information related to Cu Chi such as its length of 250 kilometers, equipped with power plants, hospitals, surgery units, recreation facilities for whole battalions needs more substantiating proof. I don’t see why the Americans could not destroy the complex with the firepower at its disposal. After the war was over a great number of American veterans visited the tunnels. Now most visitors were from Europe or Canada. Few Americans were to be seen. Why the American veterans did not speak out? Maybe this is a sign of self-respect. Losers won’t argue with what the winners have to say. Moreover, the Americans themselves had helped create the legend.
    I had a short but revealing dialogue with the guide, a young guerrilla:
-    What do you know about Cu Chi during the war?
-    Nothing,  I was too young. But my father did fight in here.
-    Probably you heard a lot about your father’s fighting activities in the tunnels?
-    Not much. He is an old man now in his fifties. He is too busy with his small gasoline boat transporting people back and forth across the river nearby to earn enough money to raise my two brothers.

NOT EVEN HALF-FULL

    On the way to Tan Son Nhat international airport to return to the United States I read a huge slogan written with red paint over the wall of a large building in First District: “Market Economy in the Direction of Socialism to Make the Country Strong, the People Rich, the Society Civilized, and to Bring Equality to All” At the end of the 1980’s, the policy of doi moi allowed the retailers some extra space to breath, but people were not rich yet. People in power and a few others clever enough to exploit the system amassed large fortunes with impunity. Most, especially those living in the countryside remained desperately poor. Vietnam was not stronger. Neighbors’ respect diminished. China was more aggressive in her ambition on land and sea borders shared with Vietnam. There was no equality in the society because of one-party political system. And civilization? If we see civilization as color TV sets, air conditioners, gas ranges, cellular phones ... Vietnam is a somewhat civilized country. But if we see civilization as a law-abiding society in which all components know their duties and the limits of their freedom, and people are helpful to one another, society in which judges are judges, teachers are teachers, workers are workers, the Vietnam as a civilized country still has a long way to go.
    My thinking turned to Ho Chi Minh City where big houses looking down on  beautiful boulevards all belong to the high-ranking officials in the communist party. Those people may never have known anything about Cu Chi
    The Vietnam glass of water is not even half full and is gradually dwindling.

                                                                                                        Tran Binh Nam